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Swearing Birthday Cards

F*ck, they’re old! Welcome to the rudest cards around, perfect for celebrating old b*stards. Wish a Happy F*cking Birthday to your fellow foul-mouthed friends with our swearing birthday cards. Send an offensive design to insult your brother or tell your partner in no uncertain terms what you’re going to do to them. Why not browse more of our rude & retro birthday cards?

Celebrate another month locked inside the house with this design by Cunning Linguist.

Happy Fucking Lockdown

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A harsh reality of lockdown right here! Hopefully it won't be long until you can celebrate their birthday with them, in the meantime, send them this Scribbler card and make them smile!

Floppy Haired Knobhead

Honesty is always the best policy. How lucky that Dean Morris has the perfect card to explain your RSVP.

A Big Wank

But with rain let's be honest that's just your luck. A card designed by Brainbox Candy.

Birthday Forecast

Let them know exactly what you think of them for being born in January - the worst of all the calendar months with this birthday card by Filthy Sentiments.

January Twat

This card says so much you wouldn't even have to write a message in the inside of it! A great birthday card designed by Do Something David.

Who Knew

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Send this personalised birthday card to a miserable old b*stard and see if he'll crack a smile. Maybe after the 7th drink? Designed by Jeffrey & Janice.

Grumpy Fuckers Deserve A Card

Mother hood actually starts the first time you mutter ffs under your breath. A card designed by Jeffrey & Janice.

Mutter FFS

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The perfect Jeffrey & Janice card to personalise and send to your favourite gal on her birthday. Hopefully it'll get a wine-induced giggle!

Fantastic Bitch

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For a Dad so old he's got his arse permanently glued to his armchair. Personalised this Jeffrey & Janice birthday card to make his day!

Magnificent Old Bastard

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It's the only real way to relieve pressure and promote mindfulness! Help someone become more Zen with this hilarious Jeffrey & Janice card.

How To Feel More Zen

To mark Dean Morris Cards 20th Birthday, we've spoke to the man himself and he has this to say about that card: Nothing like a spot of casual blasphemy to provide a humour Birthday, Christmas or Easter greeting

Out Of My Way Bitches

Let a sibling know that their birthday is their one and only free pass. Tomorrow, normal service will be resumed. Designed by Whale & Bird.

Tomorrow Fuck You

Well of course but either way youre gonna end up with a belly ache or a massive headache. A card designed by Jeffrey & Janice.

Full Of Wine

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