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Rude Valentine's Cards

They may be a pain in the arse but they’re your pain in the arse! If declarations of undying love aren’t your style, these rude Valentine’s Day cards are the perfect way to spice things up. Whether you want to throw a cheeky insult at your partner or seduce them with an explicit design, browse our naughtiest, most offensive Valentine's cards.

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Page 24 of 27
Have more romantic words ever been said? Probably not! Tell her she'll be walking funny in the morning with this rude design by Cunning Linguist.

I Want To Finger Card
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As fans of the film Superbad, you will love this cool Valentine's Day card by Scribbler. If it leaves you dry, pass it by.

Whispering Eye Card
You naughty thing you. Have some giggles with this tongue in cheek Jolly Awesome Anniversary card.

Good Head Card
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Let someone special know that they're the best thing since sliced bread and you can't wait to grow mould together, by sending this punny Scribbler Valentine's Anniversary card.

I Think I Loaf You Card
You give me a bone-r. Designed by You've got pen on your face.

Boner Card
Feeling a bit cheeky? If you worship their peachy bum, send them this cracking card by Jolly Awesome.

Hot Piece Of Ass Card
Down to dunk? Let someone special know they're just your cup of tea with this naughty Valentine's card by Tillovision.

The Hot Tea For Me Card
New In
Who needs hair when you have talons and a 2 metre wing-span? Tell them how much you love them with this card. Designed by Battered Cards.

Valentine's Bald Eagle Card
Wish a happy Valentine's Day to your favourite dickhead with this fun Valentine's Day card!

Happy Valentine's Day Dickhead
This Foggish Anniversary card is perfect for anyone who's partner is like a whirlwind of emotion! But make sure they know that you love them regardless.

I Love You Anyway Card
The perfect Anniversary card for the one and only donut in your life. A saucy LGBTQ design by 'Back to the drawing board illustration'

You're The Donut To My Bagel Card
Let them know you 'want' them, with this truly heartfelt Anniversary card :))

Butter Your Muffin Card
A naughty Anniversary card for your lover, just to let them know that you both approve...

Penis Approves Card
Tell your partner about the evolution of their manhood whenever they see you. Designed by Full Fat.

Homoerectus Card
Give this funny Anniversary card to an ace wife!

Wife, You're F***ing Ace Card
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If he's the soppy one in the relationship, tell your boyfriend he's a total wet wipe with this rude Scribbler Anniversary card.

Boyfriend You Soppy Twat Card
Do you love your partner but also find them REALLY annoying? Well if so then this is the perfect Valentine's day Anniversary card for you! IT features a 90s favourite toy on a coral background. Designed by Jess Moorhouse

Annoying As Fuck Card
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Send this Scribbler design to one hot chick this Valentine's Day and give them a giggle, you comedi-hen!

Wanna Cluck Card
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How's your Valentine's to do list looking? Flowers? Chocs? Dinner? Or you could just skip straight to the main event? Designed by Scribbler.

To Do List Card
Add A Photo
No cat droppings actually look like this, but it works better for the card ok? Add a photo and make their day with this personalised Scribbler design.

You're The Cat Shit Card
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Send this hilarious Valentine's card to proposition a Star Wars fan because what's more seductive than Jar Jar Binks in bondage gear? Designed by Scribbler.

Jar Jar Gimps Valentine's Card
Swallow. General Greeting Anniversary card by KissMeKwik. When dating etiquette and bird watching collide, the results are this hilariously crude Anniversary card.

Swallow Card
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If they've made you feel like the luckiest person in the world, send this adorable, punny Valentine's card to your fiancee. Designed by Scribbler.

I Fiancee The Shit Out Of You Card
Hunt You Down. Valentine's Day Anniversary card by KissMeKwik. Nothing says I love you like a death threat if they ever leave you! Secure your relationship with this funny warning.

Hunt You Down Card

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