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Rude Valentine's Cards

They may be a pain in the arse but they’re your pain in the arse! If declarations of undying love aren’t your style, these rude Valentine’s Day cards are the perfect way to spice things up. Whether you want to throw a cheeky insult at your partner or seduce them with an explicit design, browse our naughtiest, most offensive Valentine's cards.

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Make the most of Valentine's Day and have a bit of bum fun! Send this Dean Morris Anniversary card to your partner and see where it gets you!

Fancy Some Bum Fun Card
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You can trust another woman to know how to please you in bedroom - we can bet they've had plenty of practice! Valentine's design by Scribbler.

Just Do It Card
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This cheeky Valentine's Day card is perfect for looking back on your drunken memories together. Be proud of the start of your relationship with this card featuring the text 'I'm so glad we got drunk and shagged that one time'.

Drunk And Shagged Card
A funny Squid Game inspired Valentine's Day card, perfect for your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife! Run, don't walk! Send this humorous card to your partner to let them know you're giving them the green light! Designed by The Cake Thief

I'm Giving You The Green Light Card
Greetings Anniversary card designed by Banterking

I Love You With All My Bum Card
These naughty cheese's are spreading themselves all over the place! Get down and dirty on Valentine's Day and send your feta half this Tillovision card.

Fucking Cheesy Card
We don't want to say that you're punching but he's bloody gorgeous! Send a compliment to your fave guy with this Cunning Linguist card.

Beautiful Bastard Card
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Childhood memories ruined; we'll never look at the Teletubbies the same way again... Send this Scribbler Valentine's card to the one you're going Laa Laa over!

Touch Your Tinky Winky Card
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Does you believe in mahogany? Send mad respek to a lucky someone with this Ali G inspired Valentine's card and hopefully you'll be boning later. Designed by Scribbler.

Set It To Vibrate Card
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Valentine's massage? Any fans of the IT Crowd will appreciate this reference to an iconic episode and an experience that Roy will never forget. Designed by Scribbler.

Let You Kiss My Bum Card
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If they've made you feel like the luckiest person in the world, send this adorable, punny Valentine's card to your fiance. Designed by Scribbler.

I Fiance The Shit Out Of You Card
Pot noods to be specific! Does it really get more ramen-tic than that on Valentine's Day? Designed by Jolly Awesome.

Send Noods Card
A Valentine's special: you get the full married couple experience. I'll sit on the other side of the room and completely ignore you! Sound good? Designed by Modern Toss.

Pole Dance Card
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If you know someone who particularly enjoyed this Dion Dublin meme from Homes Under The Hammer, personalise this Scribbler card to laugh them into bed on Valentine's.

Stairs To My Bedroom Card
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Think you can handle it? Send this cheeky Valentine's card to peak their interest and get ready to love every inch of them! Add A Name design by Scribbler.

Don't Make Em Big Enough Card
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How's your Valentine's to do list looking? Flowers? Chocs? Dinner? Or you could just skip straight to the main event? Add A Name design by Scribbler.

To Do List Card
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Next time they ask "how deep is your love?" you can get out this Scribbler photo upload card and show them. Their face on your bum - you're welcome!

Deep Like A Bumhole Card
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If your partner was fucking annoying yesterday, be sure to let them know with this photo upload Valentine's Anniversary card by Scribbler.

Love You More Everyday Card
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Haven't had any complaints! Send this cheeky, TV inspired card to your favourite cock destroyer and see if they get the joke. Designed by Scribbler.

How's Your Head Card
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Get adventurous in the bedroom and make your anniversary a kinky one with this film inspired design by Scribbler.

Give You A Good Whiping Card
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But the difference is it's all worth it for that 10% of amazingness! Let her know that Webster's dictionary has had an update with this funny Scribbler design.

Girlfriend Card
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The literal dictionary definition of a Boyfriend. It's the other 10% that makes it all worth it! Designed by Scribbler.

Annoying Boyfriend Card
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The perfect Valentine's card for a massive Peep Show fan and full-time member of the Dobby club. Finally work up the courage to confess your feelings with this Pedges Houseboat design.

Manimal In Your Flanimal Card
Make it the best Valentine's they've had in 8 years by sending this hilarious Alan Partridge inspired Anniversary card by Pedges Houseboat. Afterwards you can pop the extractor fan on, get a through draft going.

Classic Intercourse Card

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