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Rude Christmas Cards

Make the long winter nights a little less silent and much less holy by sending one of our ridiculously rude Christmas cards that’ll cement your spot on the naughty list! Choose the perfect sweary and offensive design to insult your brother, or turn up the thermostat and send a specially suggestive card to your partner on the big day. Check out our boozy or celebrity themed cards for more adult fun, or if you prefer to stay in Santa’s good books, why not browse our selections of family friendly & funny Christmas cards.

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Rude Cards?
Spent Lockdown entertaining yourself with an online shopping addiction? You may be broke but you can still send your loved ones this funny Scribbler Christmas card.

Spent All My Money

Send a massive bell end this hilariously festive card by Dean Morris.

You're A Massive Bellend

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We can't think of anyone who wouldn't be over the moon to receive our favourite personalised Christmas design featuring Bad Santa, by Scribbler.

Cracking Christmas

Santa Claws is making a list and checking it twice too, with this cute Jolly Awesome card.

Bearing Gifts

Do the elves make dildos as well? Well they are technically toys! Send this hilarious Scribbler card and put a smile on their face.

Slippers And A Dildo

Has someone got to turn their hearing aid on? If you know someone a little hard of hearing this Do Something David card will be perfect for them!

I Said Six In The Lounge

Richard Curtis eat your heart out. A thoughtful Christmas card for your partner who always complains that you're not romantic enough' Because in reality, it's never like the movies.

Christmas Romance

How is Rudolph going to light the way with a mask on?! Know someone who has to work in a mask, then let them know you feel their pain this Christmas with this card by Do Something David.

Big Fucking Selling Point

But they're worth the price, and the cost of therapy! Go all out and send this rude Christmas card by Tillovision to another horny b*stard.

Two Fucking Deer

Yes, that's right; Jesus was born at Christmas! Remind someone of the true meaning with this design by Sweary Card Company.

Jesus Fucking Christ

The obvious choice to send to any briefcase wankers this Christmas. Like the Inbetweeners lads, show your affection via insults with this Pedges Houseboat card.

Merry Christmas Bumder

Why should you treat your brother differently to any other day of the year? Let him know exactly what you think of him with this Christmas design by Scribbler.

Merry Christmas Dickhead

Santapede. Christmas Card by KissMeKwik. If you like your Christmas celebrations to be a perfect mix of traumatic and hilarious, then the Human Santapede is here to the rescue!


Well, can you blame them for singing this tune? It has been pretty rubbish! Put a smile on their face with this silly Do Something David Christmas card.

Oh What A Shit Fucking Year

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This is one cocky snowman! Make someone laugh out loud with this comical Christmas card treat. Personalised design by Scribbler.

Blow My Nose

Who else thinks this kind of looks like a Christmas tree?! Make it a white Christmas no matter the weather forecast with this cheeky Scribbler card.

Santa Sack

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