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Rude Christmas Cards

Make the long winter nights a little less silent and much less holy by sending one of our ridiculously rude Christmas cards that’ll cement your spot on the naughty list! Choose the perfect sweary and offensive design to insult your brother, or turn up the thermostat and send a specially suggestive card to your partner on the big day. Check out our boozy or celebrity themed cards for more adult fun, or if you prefer to stay in Santa’s good books, why not browse our selections of family friendly & funny Christmas cards.

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Rude Cards?
Charming! Well, that's one way to get a lump of coal in your stocking this Christmas. Great card by Dean Morris for a spoilt family member or godchild.

Santa Fat Arse

Santapede. Christmas Card by KissMeKwik. If you like your Christmas celebrations to be a perfect mix of traumatic and hilarious, then the Human Santapede is here to the rescue!


Santa Piano. Personalised Christmas Card by KissMeKwik. A musical Santa and his drunk friends wish you a merry fucking Christmas.

Santa Piano

Think it's safe to say they will only be getting coal for Christmas next year. A card designed by Go Lala.

Oi Santa

Brazen Snowman by Scribbler. This is one ballsy snowman! Make someone laugh out loud with this comical Christmas card treat, exclusive to Scribbler.

Brazen Snowman

Do the elves make dildos as well? Well they are technically toys! Send this hilarious Scribbler card and put a smile on their face.

Slippers And A Dildo

The obvious choice to send to any briefcase wankers this Christmas. Like the Inbetweeners lads, show your affection via insults with this Pedges Houseboat card.

Merry Christmas Bumder

We're not so sure Santa's been THAT good, so don't worry about the naughty list this year! Send this cheeky Dean Morris card at Christmas.

Spunk In Your Beard

Santa's workshop seems like a very hands-on place! Send this alternative Scribbler card to someone special this Christmas.

I Touch My Elf

Add A Photo
Know a Mabel? Add a photo to personalise this rude Dean Morris card and send to someone who likes to let their hair down at Christmas.

Mabel Flash Her Minge

When all they do is workout, remind them they still need a life. Wish someone a Happy Christmas with this card by Jolly Awesome.

Crap, Snowman

Santa Claus has seen Die Hard quite a few times now. This Dean Morris card is perfect for anyone.

Ho Ho Ho Mother Fucker

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