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Rude Valentine's Cards

They may be a pain in the arse but they’re your pain in the arse! If declarations of undying love aren’t your style, these rude Valentine’s Day cards are the perfect way to spice things up. Whether you want to throw a cheeky insult at your partner or seduce them with an explicit design, browse our naughtiest, most offensive Valentine's cards.

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Page 18 of 25
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For the one who's 100% your type on paper, send this naughty Love Island inspired Anniversary card and ask them to couple up. Designed by Scribbler.

Will You Rail Me Card
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Talk dirty to your fave All Star and compliment their C.U.N.T with this Drag Race inspired Scribbler Anniversary card.

I Love Your Minj Card
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Compliment a badass bitch on her peaches with this cheeky Scribbler Anniversary card, perfect for a Bieber fan.

I Like Your Peaches Card
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Make someone blush with this Justin Bieber inspired Scribbler Anniversary card that'll have them feeling holy, holy, holy.

You've Got A Nice Peach Card
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3, 2, 1 Blast-off! Take that special someone to Mars and back, courtesy of Elon Musk himself, with this cheeky Scribbler Anniversary card.

Want To Ride On My Rocket Ship Card
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They're not off the rails, they are the rails! Send Annie's wise words to a Shrill fan and shake up their shit a little bit. Designed by Scribbler.

I Get To Decide What To Do Card
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Do they give you a funny feeling inside? It must be love! Confess your feelings with this romantic design by Scribbler.

Give Me Butterflies Card
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No getting rid of him? Accept that you're stuck with each other and send this cheeky anniversary card by Scribbler.

Our Love Is Indestructable Card
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Tell that special someone you think they're pretty fly by sending this romantic design by Scribbler.

You're Hot Shit Card
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If you love French Bulldogs, this Anniversary card's for you! Let that special someone know you want to get up close and personal with them by sending this cheeky Scribbler design.

Nice Arse Card
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If you love French Bulldogs, this Anniversary card's for you! Let your loved one know they have a cracking arse with this hilarious Scribbler design.

No Other Bum I'd Rather Sniff Card
New In
Give this card to someone who keeps you up all night. With their fucking annoying snoring!

You're The One I'll Be Adoring Card
New In
Let your loved one know how much they truly mean to you with this romantic Saltburn card. Perfect for any Barry Keoghan fan.

I Would Drink Your Bath Water Card
Add A Photo
The perfect photo upload Birthday card to send to a meat eater. See if you can rub off on them and maybe they'll rub one out to your face! Designed by Dean Morris.

Go Green Photo Upload Card
For the Pam to your Mick... Make all their wildest dreams come true with this naughty, Gavin and Stacey inspired design by The Cake Thief.

With My Special Sword Card
If they're addicted to avo on toast, prove you're a winning combo and send your other half this romantic Valentine's Anniversary card by Tillovision.

We Go Together Card
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Take your hypthetical Mandalorian helmet off and show off your feelings with this brilliant Valentine's card by Nichola Cowdery.

I Love You Touching Things Card
Hey, that's what good compromise is all about: neither of you being happy with the decision! Send this relatable Modern Toss Anniversary card to make your other half laugh on Valentine's.

Both Agree Is Shit Card
Do you love your partner but also find them REALLY annoying? Well if so then this is the perfect Valentine's day Anniversary card for you! IT features a 90s favourite toy on a coral background. Designed by Jess Moorhouse

Annoying As Fuck Card
Some of us aren't the most romantic of couples, but you wouldn't have it any other way.

Fancy A Shag? Wordsearch Card
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When the routine of daily life has gotten too predictable, let your partner know that you'll be turning to alcohol. Designed by Whale & Bird.

I'll Get My Coat Card
Wish a MILF a happy birthday with this award style Anniversary card!

MILF Award Card
To mark Dean Morris Cards 20th Birthday, we've spoke to the man himself and he has this to say about that card: I love this card and a quick search on google seems to attest that a lot of other people do. This has always been very popular in France. I keep thinking I should change vegetarian to vegan, but for this classic I???m keeping it as it has always been.

Go Green Fuck A Vegetarian Card
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Send this hilariously naughty Valentine's card to your girlfriend and make sure her beaver comes out to play tonight! Designed by Scribbler.

Girlfriend Cock And Beaver Valentine's Card

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