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Rude Birthday Cards

Want to make fun of a seriously old specimen with the rudest birthday card ever? You've come to the right place! Be warned: these offensive cards are not for the faint-hearted...

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Rude Cards?
Never get so old that you smell of wee all the time. Dean Morris gives you a new worry about getting older for your birthday.

Never Smell Of Wee

If you know big minge, call them out on their birthday with the help of this rude Scribbler design.

Happy Birthday You Big Minge

So many occasions, so many twats. Dean Morris has the perfect card, so make a start and tell them all.

You're A Twat

Send ol' needle dick this hilarious Brainbox Candy card and make them chuckle on their birthday.

Tiny Penis

The perfect card for the MILF in your life.


Send this silly Brainbox Candy card to someone who's always looking for their glasses.

Big Letters

I would've given you 5 stars but had to knock one off due to your burping and snoring.

Star Rating Card

Eat up is a phrase not exclusively used by your Mum. This Scribbler card won't make you choke up.

Eating A Legend

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The perfect Jeffrey & Janice card to personalise and send to your favourite gal on her birthday. Hopefully it'll get a wine-induced giggle!

Fantastic Bitch

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I hate to break it to you, but that smell is most likely coming from you. Your friends just can't move fast enough to get away from you! Say Happy Birthday to a smelly old fart with this Dean Morris photo upload card.

You Know You're Old

Firm but fair 30th birthday card -????this sweary little number is from the honest but funny Buddy Fernandez.

30 Fuckety Fuck

Do your balls hang low do they dangle to your toes can you tie them in a knot can you tie them in a bow? Growing old is a bitch. A birthday card designed by Jeffrey & Janice.

Saggy Balls

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For a Dad so old he's got his arse permanently glued to his armchair. Personalised this Jeffrey & Janice birthday card to make his day!

Magnificent Old Bastard

Sausage tits? I'm not even sure what that would look like. A card designed by Brainbox Candy.

Sausage Tits

Known fact: all Brothers are knobheads to some degree. Why not take the opportunity to remind him he's a dick with this rude Scribble birthday card.

Brother Knobhead

Their age may be forever changing but the thing that follows them around is still in tip top shape. A birthday card designed by Jeffrey & Janice.

Mighty Fine Ass

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