Work is usually pretty shit, isn’t it? You’re very lucky if you always enjoy your job, don’t have to deal with dickheads and have an actually nice boss. 

The best way to get through it? Become ungovernable. The next best way is to just be silly, funny, tell jokes and try to get away with as many swear words as possible. 

It’s served us well so far, maybe it can help you, too.  

Get a Freak in the Sheets Mug

If you’re an absolute Excel slut, or know someone who is, this mug is perfect for helping them get through all those weird formulas. 

Because being obsessed with cells should get you locked up in a cell, so we may as well make it funny.

Sign off your emails in the most unhinged way ever

‘Best Regards’ is the stupidest thing anyone can ever say, you’d literally never say it out loud and you do NOT mean it.

So switch it up with some very unhinged, potentially job-losing sign offs, just for a laugh. Anything to get you through the day.

• I hope this email finds you before I do

• Barely surviving,

• Please hesitate to ask any questions

• I hope this email finds you in a well

• This email could’ve been a bottomless

• I hope this email doesn’t find you, I hope you’re free

Add Dogs

Barkin’ 9-5, what a way to make a livin’. If your office isn’t dog-friendly, get a new job.

OR, get a dog notebook so you can pretend you’ve got a furry friend to help see you through your horrible, horrible work day.

Dream About Your Next Vacay

Mentally check yourself out of your desk and check yourself in to the next flight outta there, it’s the only way to cope with your work day. 

Just make sure to pretend to type whenever HR walks past, and close your ‘flights to anywhere’ tab.

Squeeze Some Stuff

Not in a weird way.

A stress toy that looks like an udder, which you can pretend is your boss’s head. Because actually doing that is a very sackable offence. 

A New Notebook

Why be passive aggressive when you can be overtly aggressive?

A new notebook not only invigorates your passion for meetings, but it also tells everyone near you that you do not, in any way, want to be there. Which means no talking to you, nice!