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Rude Birthday Cards

Make fun of a seriously old specimen by sending one of the rudest birthday cards you can find that’s sure to leave a lasting impression long after the candles have been blown out. You have been warned: our explicit and insulting cards are not for the faint-hearted! Send an offensive design bursting with adult humour to your brother, sister, friend or partner. Browse rude cards featuring your favourite TV & film characters or fall even further down the rabbit hole with our swearing and retro style birthday cards.
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Obviously we were talking about someone else who's much better than you. Many happy returns though! Birthday design for a October baby by Scribbler.

October Fucking Legend

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If they're obsessed with The Boys, send Billy Butcher to wish them a fucking diabolical birthday with his trademark line. Designed by Scribbler.

Fucking Diabolical Birthday

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They believe in astrology? Say no more... If you think it's all BS, make fun of a believer with this topical Scribbler card.

Star Sign Confirms It

Honesty is always the best policy. How lucky that Dean Morris has the perfect card to explain your RSVP.

A Big Wank

For such a pretty looking birthday card, this one's pretty ballsy! Send this Whale & Bird design to a gentleman in his prime.

One Year Closer

If you know someone who loves his tache and is well a bit of a twat, then surely this is the perfect card for him.

Tash Twat Card

Well of course but either way youre gonna end up with a belly ache or a massive headache. A card designed by Jeffrey & Janice.

Full Of Wine

They may be getting old but they are still one magnificent bastard! A birthday card designed by Jeffrey & Janice.

Magnificent Old Bastard

When your children are at that... delicate inbetween age, this will seem all too familiar! Give this Whale & Bird card to your partner to share the joy.

Sniff It Barry

The truth will set you free with this great Dean Morris card.

Real Age

This card says so much you wouldn't even have to write a message in the inside of it! A great birthday card designed by Do Something David.

Who Knew

No likes it when 30 shows up after being a fancy free 20 something. This funny Buddy Fernandez card is for that friend who thinks it's the end of the world for them.

30 Holy Fuck

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Well, it's not a lie, is it? Send this card by Scribbler and tell it like it is! Make sure they can take a joke though.

If You're Reading This

Well you shouldn't be bloody looking should you Brian! Perv. Designed by Whale & Bird.

Christ Alive Janet

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The perfect Jeffrey & Janice card to personalise and send to your favourite gal on her birthday. Hopefully it'll get a wine-induced giggle!

Fantastic Bitch

But with rain let's be honest that's just your luck. A card designed by Brainbox Candy.

Birthday Forecast

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Send this personalised birthday card to a miserable old b*stard and see if he'll crack a smile. Maybe after the 7th drink? Designed by Jeffrey & Janice.

Grumpy Fuckers Deserve A Card

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