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Rude Birthday Cards

Make fun of a seriously old specimen by sending one of the rudest birthday cards you can find that’s sure to leave a lasting impression long after the candles have been blown out. You have been warned: our explicit and insulting cards are not for the faint-hearted! Send an offensive design bursting with adult humour to your brothersisterfriend or partner. Browse rude cards featuring your favourite TV & film characters or fall even further down the rabbit hole with our swearing and retro style birthday cards.

Insult a cat lover and tell them they look old as sh*t on their birthday with this funny design by Jolly Awesome.

Lived Nine Lives

Celebrate another month locked inside the house with this design by Cunning Linguist.

Happy Fucking Lockdown

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A harsh reality of lockdown right here! Hopefully it won't be long until you can celebrate their birthday with them, in the meantime, send them this Scribbler card and make them smile!

Floppy Haired Knobhead

Honesty is always the best policy. How lucky that Dean Morris has the perfect card to explain your RSVP.

A Big Wank

When your children are at that... delicate inbetween age, this will seem all too familiar! Give this Whale & Bird card to your partner to share the joy.

Sniff It Barry

But with rain let's be honest that's just your luck. A card designed by Brainbox Candy.

Birthday Forecast

Let them know exactly what you think of them for being born in January - the worst of all the calendar months with this birthday card by Filthy Sentiments.

January Twat

This card says so much you wouldn't even have to write a message in the inside of it! A great birthday card designed by Do Something David.

Who Knew

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This is bloody disgusting and you definitely know someone who'll appreciate this brand of humour. We'll take the lentil thanks. Designed by Scribbler.

Fifty Pound Lentil

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Send this personalised birthday card to a miserable old b*stard and see if he'll crack a smile. Maybe after the 7th drink? Designed by Jeffrey & Janice.

Grumpy Fuckers Deserve A Card

For such a pretty looking birthday card, this one's pretty ballsy! Send this Whale & Bird design to a gentleman in his prime.

One Year Closer

Their age may be forever changing but the thing that follows them around is still in tip top shape. A birthday card designed by Jeffrey & Janice.

Mighty Fine Ass

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The perfect Jeffrey & Janice card to personalise and send to your favourite gal on her birthday. Hopefully it'll get a wine-induced giggle!

Fantastic Bitch

Being a drunken old hoe bag has never been more in! Go Feminism!! A birthday card designed by Jeffrey & Janice.

Drunken Old Hoebag

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For a Dad so old he's got his arse permanently glued to his armchair. Personalised this Jeffrey & Janice birthday card to make his day!

Magnificent Old Bastard

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