September means two things: a sh*tload of birthdays and the return of Bake Off.
Well forget soggy bottoms - we’ve got a list of everything a Virgo baby needs to celebrate them, even though they’re probably off somewhere tidying or being a bit of an introvert.
On your marks, get set…BAKE.
We should all be a bit more like cats sometimes. If it’s your birthday, it’s your cake, so you can decide if you want to share it or not.
This card is perfect for your selfless September friend who always gives themselves or their things away without expecting anything else in return.
A gentle little reminder that, sometimes, it’s good to be selfish. Because it means a shitload more delicious cake.
Sometimes you just need to celebrate your favourite bellend who thinks they’re a legend.
This card does exactly that, which is lucky for you. Give it to your September-born bestie to bring them down a peg or two. Besides, the ninth month is the most common time for people to be born, so it’s really not that special, is it?
Plus ‘bellend’ is such an under-used insult, we need to bring it back to its full glory. So to speak.
Remember in ‘Sex and the City’ when Samantha was going through the menopause? She would’ve absolutely LOVED this card.
Remind your main menopausal hottie that they’re still a 10/10 with this perilicious greeting card. Inspired by everyone’s fave chicken joint, this hand drawn card created by Scribbler’s incredible designers is a reminder that they’re still your spiciest friend.
Knitting? Check. Comfy PJs? Check. Hot cup of something delicious? Checky check check.
If their idea of a crazy night in is ordering a pizza and binge-watching a true crime doc with their cats/dogs, and a good scented candle, then this is the card for them.
Don’t forget to add a very calm message inside and give it to them with their present: a very safe bottle of Malbec you know they like and a bar of plain Tony’s Chocolonely.
Blow Out the Birthday Candles Card
Imagine having the power to actually do this, nobody would ever blow out the birthday candles the ‘normal’ way again.
This card blows all others out of the water. It’s got everything: a little green person wearing a red hat with their ass out, a delicious-looking cake and a cloud of fart blowing out the candles.
10/10, no notes. Give it to your favourite gassy person.
Seriously, what else are they even wishing for??? They’ve got you, yet have the audacity to make a wish for more?
This card is a gentle reminder that you, and you alone, are all they need, so this year and for the next 60-or-so, they’re not getting candles. There’s just no need, it’s a waste of money, honestly.
They’re also banned from blowing loose eyelashes and rubbing antique lamps.
In 2025, it’s not a list if one of these little fuckers isn’t on it.
Tried to get them a Labubu? Couldn’t bring yourself to settle for a Lafufu? A card with a very gentle insult on it is the next best thing.
Sure, they can’t hang it from their bag so they can show everyone how quick they are at refreshing the PopMart web page or how much they’re willing to spend on eBay, but it might quell their obsession for a little while, at least.
The person writing this blog fully agrees with this statement - it’s undeniable, and can be proven with evidence.
Only the best babes are born in September, fact. So give this to your virgo bestie as a reminder.
And no, it’s NOT because the person writing this blog post was born in September. What are you on about?
