Scribbler
back to scribbler main site

Father’s Day Man Recipes

Beans on Toast

 

Ingredients

Beans

Toast

 

Preparation

1. Make the toast in a toaster.

2. Heat the beans in an old mug in the microwave.

3. Put the beans on the toast.

4. Eat the beans on toast. (don’t cock this bit up)

5. For a delicious bonus, try spreading butter on the toast first.

6. Or cheese to make it proper special.

_____________________________________________________

 

Pie and (S)mash

 

Ingredients

1x Fray Bentos pie

1x packet of Smash

1x some gravy

 

Preparation

1. Put the pie in a hot oven.

2. Wait until it’s cooked. What’s that, like, 20 minutes? Hold on, let me check the tin.

3. Yeah, 20 minutes.

4. When that’s nearly done, add the Smash to boiling water

5. Mix it.

6. Put Smash and the pie on a plate.

7. Cover in 1x gravy.

8. Eat.

_____________________________________________________

 

Chips

 

Ingredients

Chips

Salt

Vinegar, if you’re feeling fancy

 

Preparation

1. Cook chips in oven.

2. Eat chips. Wipe your fingers on your jeans / the sofa.

_____________________________________________________

 

BBQ

 

Ingredients

1x assortment of butchered animals

1x fire

 

Preparation

1. Build and light the fire, making a roaring testament to the animalistic force of nature.

2. Annihilate meat on the fire.

3. Eat with your bare hands, bellowing in defiance at anyone who frowns on your primal

instincts.

_____________________________________________________

 

Bacon Sandwiches

 

Ingredients

Bacon

Bread

 

Preparation

1. Fry the bacon in approximately one gallon of cholesterol.

2. Surround with bread.

3. Lather in the sauce of your choice (big shout this, red or brown? To be safe, go with both)

4. Eat.

5. Wear sauce stains on your shirt as a badge of honour.

Posted in Father's Day, Scribbler funny stuff | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

10 worst screen dads

In celebration of Father’s Day we decided to take a look at our top 10 worst Dads from film and TV. Due to the nature of this article there are loads of spoilers – you have been warned.

 

Walter White – Breaking Bad

 

 

Chemistry teacher, husband, father, meth dealer – Walter White is the full package. When he’s not neglecting his son and wife to cook meth in the desert he’s abusing his surrogate son, Jesse, going so far as to allow Jesse’s girlfriend to overdose on heroin because he didn’t like her.

 

Walter White (to Walt Jr.): I am the man that I am son, and there’s plenty that I would change about that but, here we are and this is just what it is.

 

Walter White (to Jesse): Smoking marijuana, eating Cheetos and masturbating do not constitute ‘plans’ in my book.

 

Terry Cartwright (Jay’s Dad) – The Inbetweeners

 

 

Terry Cartwright takes the view that being a good parent is way less fun than bullying your son about how unattractive, sexually incompetent and idiotic he is. Luckily, Jay is so boastful and full of crap that you don’t feel obliged to feel bad about the onslaught of insults and get to sit back and laugh instead.

 

Terry Cartwright: You definitely take after your mum in the cock-size department — she ain’t got one either.

 

Randy Marsh – South Park

 

 

Randy Marsh veers between caring father and complete lunatic. While rarely intentionally cruel or hurtful towards his son, his utter incompetence and complete inability to function like a normal human being mark him out as an irresponsible, terrible dad.

 

Randy Marsh: [Opens the door to the garage] Stan, are you okay?

 

Stan Marsh: Yeah, dad, we’re just rehearsing our band.

 

Randy Marsh: Ooh! I thought a group of Vietnamese people were having their intestines pulled out through their mouths.

 

Anthony Cooper – Lost

 

 

Anthony Cooper – John Locke’s father – easily earns his place on this list with some behaviour that borders on Bond-villain levels of evil. He conned Locke out of one of his kidneys and then defenestrated him – meaning he threw him out of a window.

 

James ‘Sawyer’ Ford: Why did you throw Locke out a window?

 

Anthony Cooper: He was becoming a nuisance. I conned him into giving me one of his kidneys. He never got over it.

 

Don – 28 Weeks Later

 

 

Abandoning his wife to her fate as a zombie snack was pretty bad, but swapping saliva with his then rescued wife who is an uninfected carrier of the virus was just plain dumb. Don later chomps on his son, resulting in mainland Europe getting infected. Definitely a Grade A crappy dad.

 

Alice: I love you Donald.

 

Don: Oh God, I love you too.

 

[they kiss, Don appears unwell and flails about for a bit]

 

Don: EUUUURGGHHH!!!

 

[More flailing, then Don starts smashing shit and head-butting the window. Don punches and bites Alice before gouging her eyes out, then slaps her a couple more times for good measure]

 

Jack Torrence – The Shining

 

 

Good dads don’t chase their kids through giant mazes with an axe and don’t take family counselling advice from homicidal ghosts. Jack Torrence is not a good dad.

 

Jack Torrence: I dreamed that I, that I killed you and Danny. But I didn’t just kill ya. I cut you up in little pieces. Oh my God. I must be losing my mind.

 

Damon Macready/Big Daddy – Kick-Ass

 

 

Damon may have a reason to be crazy, but his nuttiness rubbed off on his daughter Mindy – a total psychopath who doesn’t think twice about chopping dudes heads off and shooting people. At one point, Damon shoots Mindy to teach her not to be afraid of bullets. True father of the year material.

 

Damon Macready:Two more rounds. No wincing… No whining! And you got yourself a deal, young lady.

 

Mindy Macready: Yeah! I’m gonna get a hot fudge sundae!

 

Damon Macready: Good call, baby doll!

 

[shoots her]

 

Sergeant Marcus Williams: You owe that girl a childhood.

 

Damon Macready: I’ll tell you who owes her a childhood, FRANK D’AMICO!

 

Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker – Star Wars

 

 

In a galaxy far, far away, Lord Vader goes from moody teen to a father very much on the dark side. His idea of supporting his kids’ hopes and dreams is chopping off Luke’s hand and blowing up Leia’s home planet.

 

Darth Vader: Give yourself to the dark side. It is the only way you can save your friends. (or just cut their pocket money?)

 

Jaime Lannister – Game of Thrones

 

 

The world of Westeros is littered with examples of bad parenting – Craster marries and defiles his daughters and leaves his sons to be taken by white walkers. How could any dad be worse than that?

 

Enter Jaime Lannister. Father of Joffrey Baratheon. Joffrey is just so awful that Jaime is automatically branded a terrible dad just for spawning him. Also, he’s sleeping with his sister – eurgh.

 

Joffrey Baratheon: You can’t talk to me like that. The king can do as he likes!

 

Peter Griffin – Family Guy

 

 

No-one likes Meg, but Peter takes it to the next level – by actually shooting her. There are so many incidents of Peter being a dick to Meg that we’ll just let the quotes do the talking.

 

Meg: Look, I got a letter from dad! “Dear Meg, for the first four years of your life, I

thought you were a housecat.”

 

Peter: I’m not quite sure how to say this…I’m fat. Let me give you a minute to absorb that. That’s the way it is, it’s nobody’s fault…Meg.

 

Meg: Come back soon daddy, I love you.

Peter: That’ll do pig. That’ll do.

Posted in Father's Day, Scribbler funny stuff, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Introducing The Man Chair

Buying a Father’s Day gift is a challenge at the best of times, and it becomes harder with every year that passes. Novelty beer selection – done, a book he’ll never read – waste of time, something he’ll actually use – probably too expensive.

 

So this Father’s Day, how about giving your dad something he really wants: somewhere comfortable he can sit, all day, uninterrupted, with all of his favourite things just a small arm extension away.

 

For one day and one day only, make his dreams come true…

 

Build him a Man Chair.

 

The Man Chair is man’s escape from the real world, a homemade slice of paradise, right there in his living room, study or garden shed. He and he alone is allowed to sit in his man chair. It’s his sanctuary; a child-free, woman-free, moral-free zone, complete with everything he could ever need or want.

 

Meat? Check.

 

Beer? Check.

 

Framed photo of his favourite female television personality mounted in front of some mighty antlers? Check.

 

With the Man Chair, there are no limits, although moving the fridge into the lounge could prove tricky.

 

So without further ado, allow us to present to you, the Scribbler Man Chair.

 

 

Wow, right? Did you see all that Manly-goodness?

 

So with Father’s Day just around the corner, we’re asking you what you would put on your Dad’s Man Chair. What have we missed? A mannequin hand to swat flies? Radio-controlled helicopter food-drops? (we did think about it).

 

We’d love to know, so please share your ideas below, tweet us @scribblercards using the hashtag #mydadsmanchair or leave us a comment on Facebook, and we’ll share the funniest – or rudest – ideas.

 

Now get to work, your Dad’s Man Chair needs surrounding with all that is Manly and good!

Posted in Father's Day, Scribbler videos | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Superman Dad Socks

 

 

If you’re looking for something super fun to give your Dad this Father’s Day, then head to one of our stores to get your hands on a pair of this Superman socks!

 

These socks are not only super cool with a cape hanging from them but they are exclusive to Scribbler in the UK! This means if you want to see your dad in a pair of these crazy socks, then you’ll have to head down to one of our Scribbler stores as we are the only retailer in the UK cool enough to stock them! Take a look at our store locator to find your nearest store.

 

Don’t forget to send us some photos of you dad posing in his socks by tweeting @Scribblercards or leave us a comment on Facebook!

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Crazy Father’s Day Bags

If you are a regular Scribbler customer in one of our stores, you would have noticed that we quite often update our bag designs. We are real fans of all things fun, creative and imaginative and what better way to share this with you then on our bags.

 

As you know, Father’s Day is June 16th and we really want to spread the word and share the fun with you. So head down to your local Scribbler store to browse our fabulous cards and pick up a Father’s Day bag to pop your cards in.

 

Posted in Father's Day, Scribbler Stores | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Scribbler Interview Dean Morris

 

 

 

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to design greeting cards? Or perhaps how some of the cards are created? Then read on, as Scribbler has been given an exclusive insight into the wonderful world of Dean Morris.

 

 

Dean’s cards are outrageously funny and seriously rude which is why we love them! What’s more, Dean is pretty funny himself too!

 

 

 

 

  1. 1.   Describe your cards in three words.

 

Rude, Fabulous and Fun

 

 

  1. 2.   How did you first get into the greeting cards industry?

 

I used to customise shop bought cards for family and friends since I was a kid.  I was in London in 1998, saw a load of arty craft papers in a shop and thought that I would give it a go at making some cards, never really expecting to do much with lofty ambition.  After that it just all happened a bit at a time.  I made a few cards, managed to get funding from the Prince’s Trust and before I knew it was getting more and more orders and I had to quit my part time job.  It was never part time of a grand plan, I just wanted an easy life and thought it was better than working at a building society which was my job at the time.

 

 

  1. 3.   Your cards are fabulously rude and seriously naughty! Where do you get your inspiration from?

 

I never try and court controversy (despite having had a fair bit of it in my time) I always have, and always will just make cards that make me and my friends laugh.  I guess if we find them funny there’s a few other people out there that think the same.    Inspiration normally pops into my head at the most inopportune moments so I always have a file on my phone for those random ideas.  I’m inspired a lot by internet memes and other silly stuff that floats around the net (I spend far too much time on the internet).

 

 

  1. 4.   Surely you can’t design these cards sitting at a boring desk, where do you design your cards?

 

That’s exactly where I design them.  In an office, at home with a view of the garden and our magnolia tree.

 

 

  1. 5.   If you were a biscuit what would you be?

 

Unbaked cookie dough, as it’s so damn tasty.

 

 

  1. 6.   When you eventually get a day off, what do you like to do?

 

As I work from home, I like to get out of the house and ideally away from the internet.  I’m turning into a middle aged cliché and now enjoy visiting National Trust relics and pottering in the garden, even though I’m still a bit of an amateur at it.  I can spend a scary amount of time in a garden centre.  I’m happy having a lazy day cooking a huge meal, other than that some trashy shopping therapy in the Trafford Centre and the like.

 

 

  1. 7.   You make so many people laugh but who (or what) makes you laugh?

 

Currently I’m finding far too much to amuse me on the www.thepoke.co.uk .  A lot of established comedy leaves me cold and prefer random internet nonsense like this.  That said I’ll always enjoy a night in with a box set of Miranda.  I love what I call her physical comedy AND even spotted Scribber Kingston in one episode J

 

 

  1. 8.   What is your favourite daily wear attire?

 

Normally the gear I went to the gym in that morning as I can’t be arsed to change when I get back to the office (I’m painting a lovely picture here).  If I like to dress up I’m currently obsessed with white t shirts and my tweed jacket that was a complete impulse purchase.

 

 

  1. 9.   We often stalk you on Twitter and Facebook , you’re quite the traveller. Where is your favourite place on earth and why?

 

New York, without question.  It was the first place I visited in America and I never get bored of it even after 30 or so visits.    I’m a complete restaurant whore and it’s my favourite place to eat in the world with so many great places that I spend hours researching before each trip.    It’s also the perfect city to just walk around and discover new neighbourhoods.  And I love the NY attitude.

 

 

  1. 10.                     Everyone likes to bring something back from holidays, what’s one of your favourite souvenirs you have brought back?

 

Probably a huge seed pod that dropped off a tree in Cuba that just missed me and nearly knocked me out.

 

 

  1. 11.                     What was the best thing before sliced bread?

 

The internet.  I’m not sure how I managed before it.

 

 

  1. 12.                     What was plan B if you couldn’t design greeting cards?

 

Probably still working in the building society hating my job.  Or a sex therapist.  I think designing greeting cards is the only thing I can do so I’m hoping it will keep me for the next 25 years or so.

 

 

  1. 13.                     And Finally, Where will Dean be in ten years time?

 

Hopefully still doing this silly job with good health.  If not a Michelin Guide restaurant inspector.

 

To View all of Dean’s personalised cards click here.

 

 

Posted in Funny Cards, Publishers, Rude Cards, Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Easter is coming!

Why not say Happy Easter with one of our great Easter cards. Whether you celebrate it or not, our Easter cards are cute and great for anyone.

With a week and a half left to go, we’re sure everyone will be having some chocolate eggs this Easter weekend. Instead of buying all your eggs, why not try making your own chocolate eggs! We have a great card that will teach you how to as well! It’s more enjoyable and kids can get involved as well!

 

The Scribbler head office are very much looking forward to a long weekend of rest and eating some yummy chocolate, we hope you are as well! Have a good Easter everyone.

Featuring cards from Mint and My World.

Posted in Easter Cards | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Click & GO!

Prepay; for lazy people, people who are always in a rush, mums with kids who seem to think credit cards are art materials, students that tend to max out their account way too quickly on booze and even people who seems to lose everything. Put credit in your Scribbler account and all you will need to do is click and go! No more credit card, no more hassle and no need to pull your hair out! If that’s not enough we will give you 20% extra credit for free! More funny cards and more money for shoes!

 

 

 

If you don’t know how to get prepay, no worries go here for step by step instructions.

 

 

Posted in Funny Cards, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

80 free things to do for your mum this Mother’s Day

Wouldn’t it be nice to do something nice for your mum this Mother’s Day, (which is this Sunday don’t forget!) to make her feel extra special and truly loved. Here are some of our favourite ideas to show how much your care for her!

 

1      Make her breakfast in bed

2      Cook her dinner

3      Make her a drink

4      Draw her a picture of something nice

5      Give her a hug

6      Smile at her throughout the day

7      Nod and agree with everything she says

8      Write her a poem

9      Arrange a family film night

10   Listen to music together

11   Tell her you love her

12   Play a game that won’t end in arguments (no Monopoly)

13   …let her win

14   Walk the dog

15   Do the washing up

16   Do the ironing

17   Bake a cake

18   Tidy your room

19   Tidy the house

20   Tidy the city – become Batman

21   Sing her a song

22   Arrange a meet up with old friends

23   Throw her a surprise party

24   Put together a memory scrapbook

25   Look after the kids/younger siblings for the day

26   Run her a bubble bath

27   Make her some vouchers

28   Wash her car

29   Be a servant for a day

30   Go sightseeing in your local town

31   Dance for her amusement

32   Compliment her regularly

33   Watch a George Clooney movie together

34   Watch a Ryan Gosling movie together

35   Watch a Tom Selleck movie together

36   Have a big old girly chat (even if you’re a bloke)

37   Indulge in chocolate together

38   People watch together

39   Do aerobics/yoga/Pilates with her

40   Text her something nice

41   Research your family tree

42   Have a picnic

43   Make a collage of family photos

44   Make her a book of her favourite recipes

45   Perform an extensively choreographed and rehearsed song and dance routine

46   Build her something cool out of Lego

47   Build a pillow fort

48   Go window shopping

49   Go to a free museum

50   Have a family party

51   Make her some flowers out of coloured paper

52   Steal her some flowers from the neighbour’s garden

53   Make her a mix tape

54   High five her regularly

55   Arrange a spa day at home

56   Paint her nails

57   Give her a massage

58   Take a long family walk

59   Tell her that all of your friends think she’s cool

60   Accept her Facebook friend request

61   Follow her on Twitter

62   Take her on a trip down memory lane

63   Wear something she bought you

64   Play video games

65   …let her win

66   Go freerunning

67   Prank call her ex-lovers

68   Have a badass slow motion gunfight

69   …let her win

70   Light some scented candles for her

71   Taste wine together and pretend to know what you’re talking about

72   Meditate

73   Go shopping for free samples

74   Make her a mother’s report card – straight ‘As’ in being a mum!

75   Complete a jigsaw puzzle

76   Do some gardening

77   Rap for her

78   Go to a local sports match

79   Make a book of pressed flowers (stolen from next door’s garden)

80   Go to the beach and collect shells

 

If you’re still looking for your perfect Mother’s Day card, then take a look at our fabulous range here.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment