In celebration of Father’s Day we decided to take a look at our top 10 worst Dads from film and TV. Due to the nature of this article there are loads of spoilers – you have been warned.
Walter White – Breaking Bad
Chemistry teacher, husband, father, meth dealer – Walter White is the full package. When he’s not neglecting his son and wife to cook meth in the desert he’s abusing his surrogate son, Jesse, going so far as to allow Jesse’s girlfriend to overdose on heroin because he didn’t like her.
Walter White (to Walt Jr.): I am the man that I am son, and there’s plenty that I would change about that but, here we are and this is just what it is.
Walter White (to Jesse): Smoking marijuana, eating Cheetos and masturbating do not constitute ‘plans’ in my book.
Terry Cartwright (Jay’s Dad) – The Inbetweeners
Terry Cartwright takes the view that being a good parent is way less fun than bullying your son about how unattractive, sexually incompetent and idiotic he is. Luckily, Jay is so boastful and full of crap that you don’t feel obliged to feel bad about the onslaught of insults and get to sit back and laugh instead.
Terry Cartwright: You definitely take after your mum in the cock-size department — she ain’t got one either.
Randy Marsh – South Park
Randy Marsh veers between caring father and complete lunatic. While rarely intentionally cruel or hurtful towards his son, his utter incompetence and complete inability to function like a normal human being mark him out as an irresponsible, terrible dad.
Randy Marsh: [Opens the door to the garage] Stan, are you okay?
Stan Marsh: Yeah, dad, we’re just rehearsing our band.
Randy Marsh: Ooh! I thought a group of Vietnamese people were having their intestines pulled out through their mouths.
Anthony Cooper – Lost
Anthony Cooper – John Locke’s father – easily earns his place on this list with some behaviour that borders on Bond-villain levels of evil. He conned Locke out of one of his kidneys and then defenestrated him – meaning he threw him out of a window.
James ‘Sawyer’ Ford: Why did you throw Locke out a window?
Anthony Cooper: He was becoming a nuisance. I conned him into giving me one of his kidneys. He never got over it.
Don – 28 Weeks Later
Abandoning his wife to her fate as a zombie snack was pretty bad, but swapping saliva with his then rescued wife who is an uninfected carrier of the virus was just plain dumb. Don later chomps on his son, resulting in mainland Europe getting infected. Definitely a Grade A crappy dad.
Alice: I love you Donald.
Don: Oh God, I love you too.
[they kiss, Don appears unwell and flails about for a bit]
[More flailing, then Don starts smashing shit and head-butting the window. Don punches and bites Alice before gouging her eyes out, then slaps her a couple more times for good measure]
Jack Torrence – The Shining
Good dads don’t chase their kids through giant mazes with an axe and don’t take family counselling advice from homicidal ghosts. Jack Torrence is not a good dad.
Jack Torrence: I dreamed that I, that I killed you and Danny. But I didn’t just kill ya. I cut you up in little pieces. Oh my God. I must be losing my mind.
Damon Macready/Big Daddy – Kick-Ass
Damon may have a reason to be crazy, but his nuttiness rubbed off on his daughter Mindy – a total psychopath who doesn’t think twice about chopping dudes heads off and shooting people. At one point, Damon shoots Mindy to teach her not to be afraid of bullets. True father of the year material.
Damon Macready:Two more rounds. No wincing… No whining! And you got yourself a deal, young lady.
Mindy Macready: Yeah! I’m gonna get a hot fudge sundae!
Damon Macready: Good call, baby doll!
Sergeant Marcus Williams: You owe that girl a childhood.
Damon Macready: I’ll tell you who owes her a childhood, FRANK D’AMICO!
Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker – Star Wars
In a galaxy far, far away, Lord Vader goes from moody teen to a father very much on the dark side. His idea of supporting his kids’ hopes and dreams is chopping off Luke’s hand and blowing up Leia’s home planet.
Darth Vader: Give yourself to the dark side. It is the only way you can save your friends. (or just cut their pocket money?)
Jaime Lannister – Game of Thrones
The world of Westeros is littered with examples of bad parenting – Craster marries and defiles his daughters and leaves his sons to be taken by white walkers. How could any dad be worse than that?
Enter Jaime Lannister. Father of Joffrey Baratheon. Joffrey is just so awful that Jaime is automatically branded a terrible dad just for spawning him. Also, he’s sleeping with his sister – eurgh.
Joffrey Baratheon: You can’t talk to me like that. The king can do as he likes!
Peter Griffin – Family Guy
No-one likes Meg, but Peter takes it to the next level – by actually shooting her. There are so many incidents of Peter being a dick to Meg that we’ll just let the quotes do the talking.
Meg: Look, I got a letter from dad! “Dear Meg, for the first four years of your life, I
thought you were a housecat.”
Peter: I’m not quite sure how to say this…I’m fat. Let me give you a minute to absorb that. That’s the way it is, it’s nobody’s fault…Meg.
Meg: Come back soon daddy, I love you.
Peter: That’ll do pig. That’ll do.