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Swearing Valentine's Cards

Swear to love them forever? Wish a Happy F*cking Valentine’s Day to your fellow foul-mouthed lover with our selection of super sweary Valentine’s cards. Send an offensive design to insult your boyfriend or tell your girlfriend exactly what you’ll be doing later with one of our unique, explicit designs. If that’s what floats your boat, why not browse more of our rude & retro Valentine’s cards?

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Tell your partner how gorgeous they are with this amazingly blunt Anniversary card from Dean Morris.

Holly Shit Your Gorgeous Card

Dean Morris Cards

You're buying her this Buddy Fernandez Anniversary card, so it must be magical!

I've Seen Your Fanny Card

Buddy Fernandez

Let your friend know how you feel about them with this Anniversary card by Portico Designs.

You Are Pretty Fucking Awesome Card

Portico Designs

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Right round! Admit it, as soon as you saw this hilarious Valentine's card by Scribbler, you heard the song! Also perfect for an anniversary.

You Spin Me Right Round Card

Scribbler

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How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Update Shakespeare with this Scribbler card.

I Love Fucking You Card

Scribbler

Are you punching above your weight? Let them know by sending this silly card from Dean Morris.

Fit Af Card

Dean Morris Cards

Exclusive

Sometime's your partner does something silly and you start to wonder why you're with them. Other times they make it all worth it! Send this Scribbler Anniversary card and show them how much you love them.

Why He Put Up With Her Shit Card

Scribbler

We Love Minge, by Dean Morris Cards. The haircuts may be atrocious but this card definitely says what needs to be said. Say happy Valentine's to your minge-loving partner-in-crime.

We Love Minge Card

Dean Morris Cards

Anytime, anyplace. If you need to sit down my face is available, just try to be quiet. A Anniversary card designed by Sweary Anniversary card company.

As Long As I've Got A Face Card

Sweary Card Company

I Really Love You. Oh, And You're A Great Shag. A truthful anniversary or Valentine's card for your husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend. The good vibes will let you coast for months after this Dean Morris card.

Great Shag Card

Dean Morris Cards

You're buying him this Buddy Fernandez Anniversary card, so it must be magical!

I've Seen Your Willy Card

Buddy Fernandez

Express your true feelings this Valentine's Day with this silly Dean Morris card, but don't forget how painful it is in the morning!

Bum Card

Dean Morris Cards

This Dean Morris card sums it up doesn't it? Painful in the morning though!

Nothing Says I Love You Like Anal Card

Dean Morris Cards

We think this pick-up line from Jolly Awesome is amazing! Send this to your partner this Valentine's Day!

Is Your Name Margherita Card

Jolly Awesome

This card is perfect for a great all-rounder like your partner, he's a catch! So, let him know how you feel with this fantastic Valentine's or anniversary card from Dean Morris.

Kindness To Animals Card

Dean Morris Cards

Add A Photo

No cat droppings actually look like this, but it works better for the card ok? Add a photo and make their day with this personalised Scribbler design.

You're The Cat Shit Card

Scribbler

Exclusive

Just when you need another way to tell your partner you love them, this Scribbler card comes along.

I Love The Shit Out Of You Card

Scribbler

Now Do I Get That Shag?, by Dean Morris Anniversary cards.You've bought the Anniversary card and the presents ? surely now's the time to be rewarded? Send this straight-to-the-point Anniversary card this Valentine's day.

Now Do I Get That Shag? Card

Dean Morris Cards

Let them know just how youre peeling with this valentine's Anniversary card designed by Studio Boketto.

Bananas For You Card

Studio Boketto

If this card works, I will be very surprised, maybe try some money in the card'. A valentine's day card designed by Boogaloo Stu.

Wank Me Off Card

Boogaloo Stu

Exclusive

This Scribbler card tells them they are better than great. Way, way better.

You're Fucking Awesome Card

Scribbler

It must be love. Who says romance is dead? Funny valentine or anniversary Dean Morris card. Perfect for your other half.

My Cock Your Arse Card

Dean Morris Cards

Love was made for me and you alright, now pick up your bloody clothes! If they don't get the message after this Valentine's Anniversary card then they should be afraid. Designed by Whale & Bird.

L O V E Card

Whale And Bird

Say 'I love you' in the most romantic way possible with this amorous card from Jolly Awesome.

Love You Rabbits Card

Jolly Awesome

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