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Swearing Valentine's Cards

Swear to love them forever? Wish a Happy F*cking Valentine’s Day to your fellow foul-mouthed lover with our selection of super sweary Valentine’s cards. Send an offensive design to insult your boyfriend or tell your girlfriend exactly what you’ll be doing later with one of our unique, explicit designs. If that’s what floats your boat, why not browse more of our rude & retro Valentine’s cards?

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Let your partner in crime know that their love sustains you, much like oatmeal, with this Brooklyn Nine Nine inspired card. Name a better duo, we'll wait. Valentine's design by Scribbler.

You Aren't Some Common Bitch

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If they've made you feel like the luckiest person in the world, send this adorable, punny Valentine's card to your fiance. Designed by Scribbler.

I Fiance The Shit Out Of You

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Didn't even think that was possible until we met Matt Hancock! Send a different kind of dick pic to your other half this Valentine's Day. Designed by Scribbler.

But This One's Bigger

We don't want to say that you're punching but he's bloody gorgeous! Send a compliment to your fave guy with this Cunning Linguist card.

Beautiful Bastard

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Oh yes, he signed up for this! Send your fiance this funny Valentine's card and make sure he knows exactly what he's gotten himself into. Designed by Scribbler.

You Chose To Propose

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Words to live by! Real women send Valentine's cards to their best gals to show how much they appreciate them, trust us. Designed by Scribbler.

Hoes Before Bros

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These so many reasons you love them, they buy the pizza, spell you're correctly but most importantly they have a cute ass! Show why you love them with this awesome Valentine's card by Scribbler. Also perfect for an anniversary.

Reasons I love you

Well of course but either way youre gonna end up with a belly ache or a massive headache. A card designed by Jeffrey & Janice.

Full Of Wine

Let them know what happens when they're around with this naughty Valentine's card from Dean Morris.

Pussy All Excited

Send this blunt Buddy Fernandez card to your partner and tell it like it is.

I Fucking Love You

Well, I guess there's nothing else to say really. Don't beat about the bush, send this Dean Morris card now.

Suck my dick

Send a hint to a crush, boyfriend or husband to let them know you want to be iced like a cake on your anniversary or valentine's day! Designed by Boogaloo Stu.

My Tits

Swallow. General Greeting Card by KissMeKwik. When dating etiquette and bird watching collide, the results are this hilariously crude card.

Swallow

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You willy love them, and you love their willy! Let them know what this hilarious Scribbler Valentine's card.

I Willy Love You

Mmm doughnuts! This rather raunchy design from Dean Morris Cards is ideal for any couple with a great sense of humour.

Sit on my face

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Propose a cosy night in with a partner or even a chum with this Scribbler card.

Netflix and chill

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They'll definitely be cashing these in as soon as they see this Valentine's card by Scribbler.

Love Coupons

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Anyone who doesn't know emoji's might not get this Valentine's card by Scribbler, but to anyone who does, it's perfect to send to your partner!

Emoji Text Wanna Fuck

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