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Swearing Christmas Cards

It’s beginning to feel a lot like f*ck this… Say words worse than Bah Humbug and wish a Merry F*cking Christmas to your fellow foul-mouthed friends with our swearing Christmas cards. Our rudest and funniest designs wouldn’t be anything without a choice word or two to hammer the jokes home. Send a festive design to insult your brother, tell your partner in no uncertain terms what you’re going to do to them, and generally curse the season. If you plan on getting totally f*cked, then browse our food & drink inspired Christmas cards and get festive as f*ck.


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Rude Cards?
This Scribbler card would be great fun to give to a close friend this Christmas to make them smile.

Santa Came Twice

Send this hilarious Dean Morris card and tell it like it is by wishing them a merry fucking Christmas.

Merry Fucking Christmas

Jingle Bells Up Your Arse, by Scribbler.Well, at least it isn't holly! Make them laugh (and shiver) with this brutally honest card.

Jingle Bells Up Your Arse

They!ve only asked Santa for seven things and they!re all bottles of gin. A Christmas card designed by Jeffrey & Janice.

Off My Tits Drunk

But they're worth the price, and the cost of therapy! Go all out and send this rude Christmas card by Tillovision to another horny b*stard.

Two Fucking Deer

Where's My Hoes At?, Christmas card by Scribbler. If Snoop Dogg was Santa, then would Christmas be held on 420 ? Food for thought. Send this card to wish your favourite ho a Happy Christmas.

Where's My Hoes At?

Send a massive bell end this hilariously festive card by Dean Morris.

You're A Massive Bellend

Richard Curtis eat your heart out. A thoughtful Christmas card for your partner who always complains that you're not romantic enough' Because in reality, it's never like the movies.

Christmas Romance

Do the elves make dildos as well? Well they are technically toys! Send this hilarious Scribbler card and put a smile on their face.

Slippers And A Dildo

Add A Photo
Fuck yeah, it's Christmas! Add a photo to personalise this rude Dean Morris card and wish someone special a Merry Fucking Christmas.

Merry Fucking Christmas

He's making a list and checking it twice but the elves probably don't make dildos! They can always go to with this Brainbox Candy card.


You know it's Christmas because here a Ho, there a Ho, everywhere a Ho Ho! A card for your favourite Ho, designed by Sweary Card Company.

Ho Ho Whore

Far out, dude! Send this cannibalistic card by Scribbler to someone who'd react just like that.

So I Told Them

Say Merry Christmas to your favourite knobhead with this card by Dean Morris.

Merry Christmas Knob Head

So, there can be something better that Christmas! Send this hilarious Dean Morris card to someone who's got their priorities straight.

Fat Cock

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