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Swearing Christmas Cards

It’s beginning to feel a lot like f*ck this… Say words worse than Bah Humbug and wish a Merry F*cking Christmas to your fellow foul-mouthed friends with our swearing Christmas cards. Our rudest and funniest designs wouldn’t be anything without a choice word or two to hammer the jokes home. Send a festive design to insult your brother, tell your partner in no uncertain terms what you’re going to do to them, and generally curse the season. If you plan on getting totally f*cked, then browse our food & drink inspired Christmas cards and get festive as f*ck.


Send everyone's favourite Tiger King, Joe Exotic to wish them a roaring grrreat Christmas with this fun card by Nichola Cowdery.

Have A Bitchin Christmas

Presents aren't everything at Christmas and that's probably a good job because they certainly won't be receiving any! Make them laugh and shatter their dreams with this Scribbler Christmas card.

Fuck All Express

Add A Photo
Give them something that will make them laugh this Christmas with this personalised photo upload Scribbler card.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Bitch

Got a Gordon Ramsey type coming for Christmas? Then this hilarious Pedges Houseboat card is perfect for them.

Have A Fucking Raw Christmas

Add A Name
Distract a human hoover long enough with this personalised Scribbler card so you can get to the Christmas pudding before them.

Christmas Pudding

Spent Lockdown entertaining yourself with an online shopping addiction? You may be broke but you can still send your loved ones this funny Scribbler Christmas card.

Spent All My Money

We all had so many hopes and dreams for 2020 and that's all turned to shit! Know someone like Jeremy from Peep Show? Then they'd appreciate this hilarious New Years card by Pedges Houseboat.

Everything's Turned From Gold To Shit

Kindly remind your partner not to make a fool out of you, if they want to survive until Boxing Day that is! Love Actually inspired card by Scribbler.

Necklace For An Office Tart

Petition for Boris to recreate this speech this year! Capture the moment with this funny, Love Actually inspired Christmas card by Scribbler.

Sorry About The Cock Ups

You mean on top of everything else, I need to make Christmas magical??! A This Mama Does card for someone who's *just* keeping it together.

Magical Christmas

Covid really has stolen everything from us now! Send this to the liability work colleague who always takes it a bit too far at the Christmas party. Designed by Scribbler.

Making A Tit Out Of Yourself

Think it's safe to say they will only be getting coal for Christmas next year. A card designed by Go Lala.

Oi Santa

How is Rudolph going to light the way with a mask on?! Know someone who has to work in a mask, then let them know you feel their pain this Christmas with this card by Do Something David.

Big Fucking Selling Point

Richard Curtis eat your heart out. A thoughtful Christmas card for your partner who always complains that you're not romantic enough' Because in reality, it's never like the movies.

Christmas Romance

Santapede. Christmas Card by KissMeKwik. If you like your Christmas celebrations to be a perfect mix of traumatic and hilarious, then the Human Santapede is here to the rescue!


Baubles With Your Name On It by Scribbler. Don't you love it when you find that perfect personalised gift?! Make someone laugh out loud at Christmas with this naughty Scribbler design.

Baubles With Your Name On It

The obvious choice to send to any briefcase wankers this Christmas. Like the Inbetweeners lads, show your affection via insults with this Pedges Houseboat card.

Merry Christmas Bumder

These days if you hear someone cough you bolt! Know someone who would take every possible precaution then this Christmas card by Do Something David is perfect for them!

I've Lost My Sense Of Smell

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