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Swearing Christmas Cards

It’s beginning to feel a lot like f*ck this… Say words worse than Bah Humbug and wish a Merry F*cking Christmas to your fellow foul-mouthed friends with our swearing Christmas cards. Our rudest and funniest designs wouldn’t be anything without a choice word or two to hammer the jokes home. Send a festive design to insult your brother, tell your partner in no uncertain terms what you’re going to do to them, and generally curse the season. If you plan on getting totally f*cked, then browse our food & drink inspired Christmas cards and get festive as f*ck.


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Rude Cards?
Spent Lockdown entertaining yourself with an online shopping addiction? You may be broke but you can still send your loved ones this funny Scribbler Christmas card.

Spent All My Money

Send a massive bell end this hilariously festive card by Dean Morris.

You're A Massive Bellend

Say Merry Christmas to your favourite knobhead with this card by Dean Morris.

Merry Christmas Knob Head

Do the elves make dildos as well? Well they are technically toys! Send this hilarious Scribbler card and put a smile on their face.

Slippers And A Dildo

Sexy Christmas. Christmas Card by KissMeKwik.Wish someone a merry Christmas with the help of 5 sexy Santas.

Sexy Christmas

Far out, dude! Send this cannibalistic card by Scribbler to someone who'd react just like that.

So I Told Them

The Scribbler card for someone who loves to take a Christmas vacation with the Griswolds every year, and still laughs at this classic line!

Shitters Full

Richard Curtis eat your heart out. A thoughtful Christmas card for your partner who always complains that you're not romantic enough' Because in reality, it's never like the movies.

Christmas Romance

Santa Smoking. Christmas Card by KissMeKwik. Sod the mince pie and carrot, just leave 20 Benson out this year.

Santa Smoking

This Scribbler card is perfect for anyone who always finds themselves on the wrong end of a snowball.

Oh Shit!

Send this Dean Morris card to someone who couldn?t give a shit about Christmas!

Fuck This Shit

Santapede. Christmas Card by KissMeKwik. If you like your Christmas celebrations to be a perfect mix of traumatic and hilarious, then the Human Santapede is here to the rescue!


The obvious choice to send to any briefcase wankers this Christmas. Like the Inbetweeners lads, show your affection via insults with this Pedges Houseboat card.

Merry Christmas Bumder

Add A Name
Distract a human hoover long enough with this personalised Scribbler card so you can get to the Christmas pudding before them.

Christmas Pudding

Yes, that's right; Jesus was born at Christmas! Remind someone of the true meaning with this design by Sweary Card Company.

Jesus Fucking Christ

But they're worth the price, and the cost of therapy! Go all out and send this rude Christmas card by Tillovision to another horny b*stard.

Two Fucking Deer

For people who get Christmas cards from random companies. Speculate about those bland logos and illegible scrawls. Modern Toss card.

Hard On Pills

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