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Swearing New Baby Cards

Buy the perfect card for any occasion or individual here at Scribbler - send a funny, cheesy or downright rude card and make their day. Find exactly what you need with the filters above or search by designer for even more inspiration. If you order before 2pm, we'll dispatch on the same day too. Sorted!

Some people are never truly ready for a child, let your friends know how it is with this funny Brainbox Candy card.

Shit Just Got Real

Just think of the mountains of nappies they'll be inundated with! Send your congrats with this silly Whale And Bird card.

Shit's Getting Real

As the song goes: 18 years, 18 years, she got one of yo kids, got you for 18 years. But we aint sayin she a gold digger! New baby design by Lucy Maggie.

Expensive Shag

Don't be that friend that compares your dog to having a baby. Just don't. Acknowledge their struggle with this new baby design by Lucy Maggie.

Babies Like Pets But Harder

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Boy Blue Shit, by Scribbler. He's got an extra Y chromosome? so you better stock up on that blue shit! Welcome the new male into this world with this hilarious card that will make the new parents chuckle!

Boy Blue Shit

This sounds more like a prison sentence rather than the celebration of a new baby boy or girl. Give the expectant parents this Buddy Fernandez card for a reality check.

Silent Sex 18 Years

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It's a girl! Time to buy loads of pink shit! This hilarious Scribbler card is brilliant for a new parent especially if you want to joke about to raising them gender-neutral.

Pink Shit

The miracle of life is a difficult one to get your head around, especially if your friends are the ones making the baby. Congratulate them with this great card by Buddy Fernandez.

Shit You Made A Person

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It's a girl! Time to buy loads of pink shit! This hilarious Scribbler card is brilliant for a new parent especially if you want to joke about to raising them gender-neutral.

Blue Shit

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Girl Pink Shit, by Scribbler. She's hasn't got a Y chromosome so she hates blue things? right? Better stock up on that pink shit! Make the new parents chuckle with this hilarious new baby card!

Girl Pink Shit

Congratulate a new mum with this hilarious Jeffrey and Janice card, and express sympathy new mothers so rarely receive as they sit on their stitches.

New Baby

Let's be real, all babies are annoying. Just wait until they get past that stage. Designed by Alicorn cards.

Little Shit Or Not

I swear they were right there, I just turned my back for one second! If you think this bad, get ready for the terrible twos. New baby design by Lucy Maggie.

Wait Til They Start Crawling

It's never too late to get rid of it, just think Bruce Wayne was an orphan and he turned out fine! A new baby card designed by Do Something David.

New Baby

Let's hope they learnt their lesson from the first one... A card designed by Sweary card company.

Try Not To Fucking Drop It

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