What to Write In a Birthday Card

So inspiration is starting to run dry for what to write in birthday cards, huh? We know the struggle! You want to write something personal and unique that both makes the recipient feel special and shows you've put more than 10 seconds thought into it. But we can't all be be blessed with Shakespeare's writing talent can we?

Panic not. You don't have to write a full length sonnet reminiscent of the Bard! We've come up with some of the best, fail-safe birthday card messages to match whatever mood you're going for, be it funny, cute or something a 'lil ruder. All those of you who struggle to express yourself on paper (or card) read on!

Funny Birthday Message

Ahh the pressure to prove yourself as the funniest person in the office and write something absolutely hilarious in the work birthday card - we know it well! Pair your funny birthday card with an equally witty and amusing message:

• Nothing says 'Happy Birthday' quite like a folded piece of card. But you’re far too special for just a card, so please do keep the envelope as well!
• Your birthday again? No, no, that can’t be right, I’m sure you just had one of those last year!
• Forget about the past, it can’t be changed. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one. 
• You’ve always been quite the high achiever and now congratulations, you’ve achieved an age way higher than anyone else I know – Happy Birthday!
• I’m not saying you’re old but if you were milk I’d definitely sniff you first!
• Happy Birthday! Don’t worry, the first [40] years of childhood are always the hardest.
• Thanks for always being older than me because it’s exactly that sort of thoughtfulness and consideration that’s kept us friends for this long!
• I’d honestly much rather it was my birthday but if it can’t be mine, then I’m really glad it’s yours!
• You know you’re getting old when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to and your back goes out more than you do. I hope you have a wild night, tucked up in bed by 10.30pm.
• I’m no paleontologist but I know a fossil when I see one. Happy Birthday you dinosaur, congrats on living this long!
• Birthdays are like glasses of wine; they should never be counted! Happy Birthday and I hope you have an indeterminate amount of drinks tonight to celebrate.
• Happy Birthday! I have to admit that I don’t really like you, I’m just here for the free food.

Cute Birthday Message

Be it for your relative or your bestie, make them feel extra loved and special on their birthday. Write a super sweet message inside a cute birthday card that shows them just how much they mean to you:

• Another trip around the sun? Make sure you celebrate by having lots of fun! Wishing you a very Happy Birthday and remember, the best is yet to come.
• 7 billion people on the planet and you’re my favourite by far (including me). Happy Birthday!
  
• I hope your birthday is as nice as your face! Sending all my love on your special day.
• Happy Birthday to the best human I know. I’m so lucky to have you in my life – never leave!
• Sending hugs, kisses and hoping all your birthday wishes come true on this very special day.
• Happy Birthday! I bet you were just born awesome, huh?
• Today is YOUR day so make the most and let the good times roll!
• I thank my lucky stars everyday that you were born because I literally don’t know what I’d do without you. Happy Birthday!
• I don’t know how you do it but you just get better with age! Happy Birthday you wonderful specimen. 
• There’s nothing I love more than spending my days with you – especially this one! Happy Birthday, let’s make it one to remember.

Rude Birthday Message

Why not get a little outrageous on their birthday and raise a few eyebrows? Take the p*ss out of your partner or sibling by sending a hilariously rude birthday card and getting creative with an offensive message to match:

• You know you’re getting old when the noises you used to make whilst having s*x are now the noises you make to get up off the sofa. Have a wild birthday!
• Happy Birthday to one of the most immature people I know. If being a grown-up was rated on a scale of 1-100, I’d give you a 69.
• Another year older but don’t worry, life begins at… Nope, I’m sorry I can’t pretend. You’re f*cked!
• Today we celebrate the fact that your dad sh*gged your mum that one time and you were the result!
• Happy Birthday! I promise to be friends with you forever until we’re old and grey. But the day you start sh*tting yourself it’s all over.
• Happy Birthday to the strongest swimmer to come out of your dad’s balls!
• We don’t have to take our clothes off to have a good time on your birthday but it definitely helps!
• And the countdown to death continues… Happy Birthday you old f*ck!
• Can you stop with the birthdays already? It’s costing me a f*cking fortune and it’s literally always about you!
• Another year older and you’re still a b*llend. Happy Birthday!
• It’s safe to say that we’re getting way too old for this sh*t. Happy Birthday D*ckhead!

And if you're still struggling for inspiration after ALL those fantastic ideas then we're sorry to say you're on your own! First things first, don't forget to shop our full range of birthday cards suitable for every mood and recipient.